Góok déi, Baby!

With everything that I've been experiencing these past couple of weeks, I finally came to the point where I said to myself as I scooted and tried to get out of a restaurant booth, "I'm going to be pregnant forever...". Up until that point, I had been set in the mindset that this was all going by too quickly. I am in no rush to push a living, breathing being of my own creation out of my special place, what I am eager to get over with is the anxiety I have towards that exact moment!

As the weight bears down more and more on me, slows me down, and wears me out, I am preparing myself for the big day. Today marks 36 weeks according to the doctor's estimation. Today is a milestone us, including Dr. Gladheart, because it means that I made it safely to the end of my pregnancy without risks, and without delivering prematurely! My doctor said I am growing a very healthy baby as she felt baby and made sure she was head down (yes, btw). While I am right on track with weight gain and such, baby still measures two weeks ahead of her time! Next week we will check baby's growth with a final ultrasound, that is if, of course, I don't go into labor by then (atsganée!).

Today, I actually became excited about meeting our little baby and became eager to know how much she'll look like the two of us. I've been dreaming of her, but I can never remember the precious details when I wake and eventually can only imagine my new niece, Dilyn! :) This tells me how much I miss that little girl. So now, we wait!

We are getting things ready in the meantime. We finally got the stroller set up, as will install our cool car seat in the car this weekend. We got a NEW car because it was impossible for us to get around in our trucks (now mine is for sale if you know of a buyer:). I washed clothes today. We are picking up some more goodies this weekend. We are going to put together more goodies this weekend. It's going to be an exciting time here in the Tumulak-Brown house :).

To celebrate today, I took the day off from my morning job to rest up to help myself get over this cold I'm battling (AGAIN). I'll be in bed by 9PM, and hope that I feel even better tomorrow. :)

This is all I have for now. I'm exhausted! But I have loads more to share and so little time with school and growing this baby :) I SHALL RETURN!
Baby is coming fast! (Hopefully in time for AFN;)

Cheers, folks!

Is it time to eat yet?

Please don't ask me how many times I've eaten enchiladas this week...

Fine. I'll tell you. Three. THREE times this week...and it's only Wednesday which means I am likely to go get more at some point before the end of this week. I considered going to get more for lunch this afternoon, but instead, I remembered the yummy food we had at home and made a grilled Colby jack sandwich for lunch with a goldfish appetizer. On the side I served myself some fresh strawberries that complimented the cheese sandwich perfectly... Oh my. Food has never been so enticing to me this entire pregnancy. I LOVE eating suddenly (except in the mornings for some reason, unless it's flavorful and scrumptious...which isn't in your typical bowl of cereal). I just want to eat... And eat... And eat... Luckily, aside from my enchilada indulgence, I have had a plethora of healthy snacks on hand at all times. Plenty of fruit, yogurt, Toy Story fruit snacks that make me feel close to home lol... So it's not like I'm going overboard with food. I have been craving more and more, and when I am in reach of tasty foods, I eat more and more.  But itʼs not like I can eat a whole lot anyway, baby takes up a lot of room, so basically I am just snacking all the time :)  

A plus side of all this eating and cravings is that when I do indulge, it creates hiccups for baby...SO adorable.  I have been asked a few times if I have experienced this, but I didnʼt know whether it was happening.  It definitely is now... And I even recorded it, but I cannot upload it from my phone (boo).  All I can share is this photo of me at 34 weeks...

Getting closer all the time... I just canʼt stop it :)  

And that was the exact thing I said to my boss when she finally mentioned that I grew twice as big over the time I was gone from work haha.  Baby sticks her butt out all the time, and pushes up in my ribs a whole lot with that big butt of hers.  She also likes to kick and push her feet out on one side and the same time making me feel as though my belly is being stretched in every direction and that she will push herself out at some point, falling to the ground... Haha...  A little ridiculous, I know, but the thought crosses my mind sometimes...mostly in the middle of the night when Iʼm pretty vulnerable to crazy thoughts and dreams and the baby thinks itʼs okay to mess with me... :)  So this has been my 34th week.   Always eventful, never a dull moment :)  

This is all I have now.  I have to get back to homework.  Cheers, folks!  

"Don't run into anything sharp..."

My dad said this to me a couple times while I was home. He continued with, "You might pop!" My dad is so sensitive to a pregnant women's feelings, huh? Haha. He thought he was being funny and endearing because that's our way, so I had to let it slide. It was the other times that complete strangers would say it in passing and even a few times to my face. "HEY. SHUT UP." or "NOT YOUR BUSINESS." were responses I thought I wanted to say back, but I kept it to myself.

When I first got to Anchorage, my mom's first words were, "Oh babe, you're not even that big!" I felt pretty good. Then when the next day came, I had apparently grew in size overnight and my mom just couldn't believe it. I noticed it too. I just ballooned overnight, and agreed with my mom when she told me that it seemed that I was getting bigger every day. Oh lawdy. I'm feeling pretty big these days. Getting up is getting harder. Trying to find comfort in the middle of the night requires me to physically pick myself up and turn myself over. Then once I'm comfortable, I have to pee and it starts all over again. Pregnancy is such a special time... :)

34 weeks means I really could "pop" as early as a few weeks! It's a scary realization that Austin and I had last night. It was so scary, in fact, that it woke me up at 3 in the morning and haunted me for a while before I could go back to sleep. I can't say enough how fast this time has flown, and along with the realization that I am going to be not so pregnant in a few weeks time came the realization that I'm going to miss being pregnant! I feel like I've missed or taken for granted some of these experiences I've had. Cripes... Of all bittersweet things that come to an end, this is definitely at the top of the list.

As my experiences as a pregnant woman come to an end, the whole being pregnant is taking a dramatic turn...and these may be a few of the things I won't miss about being pregnant. I mean, yes, I deal with what I mentioned earlier as I grow bigger but just in a days time (because I've written this blog over a span of two days) I am actually FEELING and SEEING that I am getting more pregnant by the day AND my doctor basically confirmed that I did in fact balloon overnight! Apparently, in just a week and a half's time, my belly now measures three whole inches bigger than before I went home to anchorage. What the heck, huh! The fact that I gained absolutely no weight in that amount of time also confirms that Austin was being very sincere when I asked numerous times upon my return home whether or not I looked like I gained weight (because I felt it big time) and he responded "No, looks like baby gained weight." Lawdy!

Along with the constant bathroom breaks, i have also been having all the cravings that I thought I'd avoided this whole pregnancy. Today: Corned beef hash and a fresh green pepper. I tried enjoying my corned beef hash but I'm cant fit enough food in my belly to satisfy the craving now that baby is taking up all the room. It was also a little hard for me to be grateful for the meal I received when I waddled out of the restaurant in such discomfort. Oi...

I need to go home for a nap... So, This is what I have for now, but I'll be back. In the meantime, enjoy this picture that shows that after finally being the outright owner of my truck (because I paid that ish!), I can NO LONGER EVEN FIT BEHIND THE WHEEL!! Cheers, Ladies and Gentlemen! :)

The Swell is On!

33 weeks along, and the swell begins!
Before I got knocked up, I used to talk about how horrible (pronounced har-I-bul) it was going to be whenever I got pregnant when the swelling kicked in because of my already large hands and feet. The thought disgusted me. Now, that time has come. The date: September 1, 2012. It was the result of the Baby Shower my family threw for us. While it was uncomfortable, it was totally worth it ;) My feet won't fit into my new Danskos, and that gives Austin two reasons to be displeased with the fact that I got more shoes when I get home today haha :)

This 33rd week may have been the best week of pregnancy for me. Week 32 ended with a scare and full of orders from my doctor to take it easy and slow down: "moderated bed rest" is what he called it. I couldn't have gotten that in Juneau because it's just Austin and I and we are stuck in our ways. Luckily, the doc okayed me to fly and I was able to come back to my family for a week who ensured I wasn't doing anything I wasn't supposed to and helped me rest up. I was fed, entertained, loved... People helped me put my moccasins on! And I came to the conclusion that I should have gotten pregnant YEARS ago!
Just kidding :)

It was the best for me to come home-home and get the rest my doctor ordered. My family consists of my mom who had 5 children of her own, and my sisters who have 4-5 children of their own, and my brother and his lady...and my brother is pro at being pregnant and is always telling me how to do it...so I had a lot of help this week. When I said I felt something, they listened and helped me through it. I loved being home and having so much help around. I know we will need it when baby gets here and it makes it hard to leave my family today to go home to Juneau and Austin. I wish I could take my family with me!

The family we are bringing this baby into really is pretty great, and I couldn't be happier. This has been a good week. I was able to get some shopping done, and finally when I get home I will be able to nest like I've wanted to for some time. It's becoming all the more real that baby is coming! Definitely the best week so far. Seeing my kids and how excited they are for a little baby to join the family was one of the best parts too. All of this made it easier for me to deal with that whole swelling part of pregnancy, haha. It isn't that big of a deal after all :)

So Cheers, ladies and gentlemen. Let's begin week 34!!

Longest Week Ever

My transition from 32 weeks to 33 weeks was long, tough, and full of happenings. I don't even know where to begin, so I'll just leave you with this pictures.

To Groove or Not To Groove at 32

32 Weeks, ladies and gentlemen. This week is off to a bang with tooth pain that convinced me I was going to die and a newfound tired.

Tooth pain is all taken care of, and thanks to this baby, I have made about 5 trips to the dentist this summer. That's a record for those of you who don't know about my irrational fear of dentists. But I heart SEARHC Dental, and this baby can basically get me to do anything for her already so long as it keeps us both safe and healthy!

It might have been the ache of my tooth that tired me out so much this week. All I know is that I haven't been this tired since I first got prego. It isn't the same kind of tired either, but I don't know exactly how to describe it... So I won't :) I just know that I have a lot of energy and still believe that I can do a million different things, but my body tells me otherwise. What does it know, for crying out loud!? :) I am slowing WAY down these days... At least so much that it is VERY noticeable anyway. When I imagine what it looks like for my co-workers to see me get off the floor after nap time with the kiddos, I imagine horses... :/ Haha. Oh well, I still like the floor. I can't help that. Most couches and chairs are just too uncomfortable for too long.

So, now that I'm tired, I needed to know what I should do when I feel just too tired to do anything to make sure I am keeping active and luckily I have a baby app that tells me these kinds of things. Because I blog from my phone these days, I think all the pictures I attach are at the bottom, but please read the advice from my baby app before continuing....

I'll wait... :)

Isn't that funny? "Avoid jerking"... So basically, it tells me to dance, then tells me NOT to dance. All I do is jerk... Haha, cheese. I do enjoy dance parties when I'm home alone though, I try to avoid jerking too much but anyone who knows or has seen me groove, it involves quite a bit of jerking from time to time ;) Baby seems to dig it though, and we groove together. We have rhythm and style ;) Sometimes we just dance slowly around to Billie Holiday or Nina Simone. Sometimes we Pretend to be ballerinas to Miles Davis. We tinker with a little interpretive dance sometimes lol. And sometimes we just chill out to some good hip-hop. It's a lot of fun. I'm never too tired to dance!

So that's how this week is shaping up. A good week, all-in-all. Time goes so quickly! Cheers, folks :)

31 Down

I am finishing up my 31st week of creating life, ladies and gentlemen. Week 31 was a tough one. It was full of emotional ups and downs, for starters, and I started a new job that leaves me fulfilled yet VERY tired by the end of the day. I went in for another appointment and was checked out for preterm labor as a precaution because these Braxton Hicks are just a little overwhelming at times! Baby is growing steadily and all is well, though. However, she continues to freak me out as she seems to be practicing the native games and trying to beat the record in the Alaskan High Kick or something. It is either that, or she is definitely trying to figure out some way to escape. It's even freakier when I push and she pushes back like we are playing some game... It just brings back all those terrifying scenes from the horror movies of my childhood again...but this time it's so different because this is MY baby! I am growing MY baby inside of me! It still shocks me from time to time :)

I was thinking the other day how strange it will feel after the baby is here. Will I still get phantom kicks like when people who lose limbs get phantom pains? Silly, I know, but these are the things I think of when I'm alone, just baby and I... And that's quite a lot! Because we are alone so much, I feel that bond growing strongly and that is a beautiful feeling :)

So, aside from the emotional ups and downs that I thought I left back in my first trimester along with those mood swings, this week was alright. I love my new job. I love feeling productive everyday, again, and like I'm finally contributing to society lol. I am also falling madly in love with my baby bump! Some days, I never felt better about my physical appearance! I'll definitely miss it after baby comes, but I'm sure going to rock it out while I've got it :) Cheers, folks! And goodnight!

Those Awesome Moments When...

Well, I shall dedicate this blog to all of the things I cherish about pregnancy. Now that I'm feeling so pregnant these days, this will definitely help remind myself of all the good things in life :)

Those awesome moments when...

- You happen upon the exact ingredients you need to make exactly what you crave...

- You're able to untangle yourself from the bed, countless amount of pillows, and the blankets in time to make it to the potty in the middle of the night and/or morning before all hell breaks loose...

- Your Baby Daddy says, "Just relax, I'll get it..." when you're cleaning the house. (Even as rare as it happens.)

- You put on a pre-pregnancy shirt and you can still rock it.

- You still get noticed from time to time before the baby does. (Can't deny it feels good :)

- You get more visitors from home (up north) so they can come touch the belly :)

- People want to feed you the good stuff :)

- The heartburn you thought you felt coming on gets sidetracked and forgets it was about to attack.

- You realize how much more focused your life has become.

- You realize that you're pregnant and it's perfectly fine to say "No" because you're exhausted from growing a baby all day :)

- You remember what having heartburn used to mean before you got pregnant :) (Inside Joke)

- You catch your baby daddy indulging in sympathy cravings...until you catch him drinking out of the Yoshida sauce bottle O_O haha...not so much awesome as weird.

- You request a thanksgiving dinner mid-summer and there is no argument.

- Those sudden urges when you used to feel capable of doing the splits is replaced by the sudden belief that you can do a back bend... Haha.

These are just a few things that I appreciate. I'll add more as time passes quickly I'm sure :)

Cheers!

Suddenly One Day...

I was more pregnant than I had ever been in my life. I swear to you, it happened overnight. One day I am absolutely fine. The next, I feel myself slowing down... Then I can't sit in my own desk in class and have to move to a table... I find myself peeing every ten minutes (literally)... The heartburn returned after a couple month absence... My back hurts... My hips hurt... My feet hurt... I'm tired... WHAT THE HECK!?

Ladies and gentlemen, I feel like this pregnancy has finally begun. The emotions are HIGH. The baby is always physically reminding me that she's there. I'm realizing the grace that I had before pregnancy only because of how clumsy I am feeling now. And it all happened overnight, I just couldn't believe it.

People are actually touching my belly now. Few people have done it, with exception of Celebration time 'cause family and friends were in from all over. It hasn't happened since until just this last week. And once it started up, it made me realize how strange it felt when people WEREN'T giving my baby and her bump any acknowledgment! Haha... I know, weird. My baby is pretty solid these days. Kicking away and freaking me out when she pushes out hard and I look like Freddy Kreuger after eating children... Ick. (Tell me if I referenced the wrong movie. All of the scary movies my sister forced me to watch as a kid all mesh together in my brain and I rarely can tell them a part.)

So, this baby bump is out and proud. It moves on its own as we walk through the halls at school. Announcing itself and demanding attention and a smile everywhere it goes... And I don't even mind like I used to think I would. I secretly think to myself, "Go ahead baby, you do your thang." :)

The only thing about this baby now is how tired it makes me. As I blog to you this evening, I lay on my couch in one of the few positions that work for me and blog from my phone... Which also happens to be the only thing I can manage to hold up tonight. I tried studying. I tried reading. But my mind won't focus and my body won't support my damn computer. It's an odd place to be... But I couldn't just lay here, so I blog to you. I guess that's the one plus from this because I haven't had much time otherwise.

Yep... I'm pregnant and feeling it.
That's what's up this week folks. Once classes are over (Wednesday, whoop!) I'll get back to you. 30 weeks this week. Ten more or maybe even less. Feeling okay about that :) Cheers, folks! And goodnight!

I needs me spinach!!!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this baby has turned me into Popeye the Sailor Man. I've always been part sailor, I guess. I mean, sometimes I talk just like one. But now, the package is complete, spinach and all.

Preparing Like My Ancestors Taught Me

At least, that's what I've been wanting to do lately.
Perhaps it's an indigenous nesting gene in my soul!
There remains quite a bit to be figured out for we new-parents-to-be and it's overwhelming at times.    It may be why I badly want to go out to gather food.  At least I know that we'll have enough fish in the pantry and berries in the freezer and I can be at peace knowing that we at least have that taken care of for the near future.  Xwéi...

Concrete Jungle

A trip to New York will take a lot out of you.  It was a huge change in speed, attitude, weather, time... just everything.  I am grateful for the opportunity to go, but at this point I don't think that I'll be going back to tourist NY anytime soon.  I'd much prefer to go, see, and do what all native NYers go, see and do.  That is the NY that I heart.

I'm not sure how baby took the trip.  I think it was hard for her to be away from her normal routine (and her dad's voice).  I think it was hard for her to get acclimated to the change of diet and heat.  I think she'd rather go back when she can actually enjoy it and doesn't have to eat what I have to eat (which wasn't always the best for baby).  And that's a dream of ours now.

Baby and I are Back! (FINALLY)

Well my lovely devoted readers, in the last month baby and I have traveled the country, danced among our beautiful people, and made unforgettable memories with my family.  First off, XWEI!  I am tired.  More so, however, I am filled with a great deal of love and happiness :)

I will start with updating everyone, and then finish off the blogs I haven't gotten around to just yet :)

Yesterday was supposed to be the Big Day, Gary!

Was I excited?  I couldn't tell all day.
Was I nervous?  YES.
Why?  I don't really know.

Yesterday, Austin and I were supposed to find out what we were having.  As expected, this child was too stubborn to move into an position that would afford us a peek at what was between the legs, or even at who the kid might look like.  That's right, NO profile picture either.  I was given a CD with pictures that the technician took "for me."  When I opened it: pictures of body parts...while it is good to know that they are all there and working, they aren't exactly the "cute" photos we were expecting.  I'll give you this one though:

My Bump, My Bump...

`My lovely Baby Bump. Check it out!

If you can, continue reading the rest of this post in an annoying "Fergie" voice.  Thanks :)

Well, I am four and a half months along, ladies and gentlemen.
I have been stuck in a very uncomfortable state of "I'm pregnant but it kind of just looks like I ate too many fries and can't suck Barbara in anymore".
After talking to my brother's girlfriend about "showing,"  she suggested that I start taking pictures (which I have avoided thus far because of how I feel) then I might be able to see that I may just be showing after all.  So this morning, as I was getting ready for the day, I took a good look at myself and realized, I look prego.  WIN.  I have a legitimate baby bump:

Dear Heartburn,

We need to talk...

You and I haven't really gotten acquainted much over the last 26 years.  We've known of each other, had a few brief interactions, but never really had a chance to get to know each other well.  I was never sad about that.  I was happy that we kept our distance.  For you to just attack me when my back was turned, well, that was just low.  This needs to stop.  I don't appreciate the stalking, the creepy late-night visits, or that you've interrupted my meals numerous times in the last couple of weeks.  Just who do you think you are?!  

Happy "I'm a Mother?!"'s Day

I have been celebrated on Mother's Day before, as my role as tláakw' or dláak' to my nieces and nephews.  It has always been a special day for me, but this one was so bizarre to me.  

Boy or Girl? (Pt. II) - LONG DAY.

Well faithful readers, you heard me make the announcement on Sunday that this was the week that we would find out what we are having.  Unfortunately, thanks to "a possible miscommunication" according to the [insert adjective here] folks at our clinic, all of that has changed.  Try to imagine our disappointment...

Boy or Girl?

Finals are over and now I can start attending to all of the baby thoughts, ideas, plans, and curiosities that have plagued my brain (and proved quite distracting) this last semester.  I am four months along now.  That means I've had a good three months of distraction.  That also means that I have a mear five months to get ready for this baby.  As I get more excited about it, and the shock is wearing down, people are eager to get the 4-1-1 on how I'm feeling and ask lots of questions.  The big questions?  "What are you having?"  "When do you find out?"  "Do you want a boy or girl?!"  The answer has become quite simple...

When Your Léelkw' Finds Out You're Pregnant

Léelkw' = Grandparent

Today, at Wooch.een's Annual Native Graduation Celebration we celebrated the indigenous graduates of all levels (including my baby daddy).  Family, friends, UAS faculty and staff, community members all gathered to acknowledge and praise these fine students who did somethings pretty amazing.  As folks start to pour in from the rain and wind of Juneau, Wooch.een club members greeted everyone with warm smiles and often hugs.  It was a great celebration from the moment our first guest joined us.

Finals Week

I've one final project due this week, but with the amount of stress I feel, it feels like a million and one.

The "Dear Baby" Project

With my first child on its way, coming to peace with that fact took time. It usually helps me to write things down, that's part of the reason I wanted to blog. It helps me share my journey, especially things that don't come out so easily.

So coming to peace with this baby, I decided to start a "Dear Baby" Book...

Long Live Barbara!

Before I got knocked up, I had a food baby that I enjoyed feeding. I named her Barbara. Most of my close friends and family learned to love her :)

I was proud of her most times. What I also enjoyed was being able to suck her in whenever I wanted or felt like it. That is not the case these days...

Xwei!: Neglect, Confusion, & Emotions All Around!

I'm losing my mind.  And my fish are losing weight.
Emotions are high, and I just don't know what to do with myself!

I'm a wreck haha, and it is funny and ridiculous, and overwhelming all at the same time.
It makes me think of this popular "First World Problem" meme...

Who drank all my limeade?!

Heaven is what I should call it.

I can't get through a meal, most specifically breakfast, without it!

When I drank my last glass the other day, I almost freaked out.  One, because I couldn't understand who drank all my friggin' limeade, and two...I only had one glass that day and it was still early!
Now, even though I am stocked for the next couple days, I nearly bit off Austin's head when he wanted to have a glass.
     - "What are you doing? (As he pulls the strawberries out of the freezer)
     - "I'm having juice..."
     - "That's mine..."

It all sounds innocent, but I gave him the "Evil Eye".  And mine is pretty fierce.

Sleepless Nights Part 2

My sister and another mother replied to my first "Sleepless Nights" post and both recommended BODY PILLOWS. I'm glad to know I was on the right track, because a few days ago I started looking online at pillows when my Love said we should invest in one.

I have decided that I WANT THIS ONE. It's a little pricey, but it just looks incredibly comfortable. Like an all-night hug :)

I really appreciate the advice. Not only do I gain, but it will help me convince my love that I absolutely need THIS PILLOW :)

Sleepless Nights

12 Weeks!  For the last couple of weeks, my sleep schedule has gone through dramatic changes.  Early on, I was falling asleep at 9PM every night, exhausted, and still exhausted when I woke up the next morning.  I've been giving that "Million Mile Stare" way too much...

Going on 12...

weeks, that is.

I'm 26 years old.  By most standards, I am full and ready to make babies.
This wasn't part of my plan, getting knocked up in college, but in the last month and couple weeks that I've had to process the very idea that I am creating life, I am feeling pretty good about it.  This will be my story.